another freaky day

Lately, i've been crying a lot. good thing he rides a motorcycle, he won't notice when i try to hold my tears and failed every time we had problem. these day our problem just seems bigger and bigger for me even though this little problem can't even compared to the problem with my cousin. i'm trying to figure out what's going on. and i came to the conclusion, that when those big problem was coming he made it smaller with his big love, show me how much he cares. made me strong enough to face all of those problem and yet make it much worth to fight over. now i just need your love, show me that you care. just give me strength to fight together with you because sometimes "i love you" just need to proof.

i called him, someone important. he may not my boyfriend, but he's not my 'just friend' either. so much things going between us, and we through many problems. but i never imagine how my life without him, just be there and be by my side. and, don't go i beg you. stay silly with me :)

yey! new post from my "macarero" lately i got new mac from my dad, even i give him some of my money too. at first i wanna give her name "carero" which means "expensive" for spanish, but when i told yovan he told me i should named it macarero, it means the expensive mac. hahah and yap voila, i named her Macarero. :3 welcome to my life macarero! i'm on jakarta and haven't met yovan for couple days, and don't know why i miss him right now. i miss how he hold my hand, and hug me tight. :''''''

And I'm here, sitting alone on travel that bring me back to bandung. Kangen, mungkin itu yang bisa menggambarkan perasaan gue. Entah kenapa semua jadi kayak gini, bahkan gue masih inget cara ketawanya, bahkan masih inget cara dia menyampaikan lawakannya yang kadang ga lucu. Masih inget kesaltingannya yang bodoh.. Masih inget pertama dia bilang sayang, masih inget kekikukannya waktu itu, masih inget pemilihan kata2 dia yang bodoh, and once again I'm trying to be wise one, because we know it won't happen. But as I try to push my feeling harder, the more I can't let him go.. Everynight he try to be with me, listening my story, watching me being stupid and he still want to be by my side. What can I ask more? Apa yang salah dengan saat ini? Kenapa dia udah ga bisa nemenin gue lagi tiap malem? Kenapa dulu selalu ada waktu dan sekarang ngga? Maybe it's true that people change Tapi gue masih sayang dia, masih mau ada di samping dia buat jalanin semuanya pelan2.. Cobaan buat...

"aku gbisa tidur, kangen harum rambut km.. kangen idung pesek km.. kangen bcanda km.. kangen galak(tegas) km.. kangen mata sipit km.. kangen km ngelus rambut aku.. kangen bareng km.. kangen senyum km.. kangen asiknya maen sama km.. kangen pelukan km.. kangen hangatny km.. kangen rambut ikal km.. kangen jalan2 sama km.. kangen baiknya km.. kangen pengertiannya km.. kangen kbodohan km.. kangen km pura2 g kenal aku d keramaian.. kangen gmn km natap aku.. kangen km.. raditya narita.." And so do I :')

sebelumnya, ini bukan galau. gue gak galau. gue cuma lagi mikir aja kenapa kehadiran seseorang bisa tiba-tiba jadi penting tanpa kita sadari? did we let them in? or they just break our door? maybe i never careful enough to step away from people, i love letting people into my life. i know some of them will just break my heart, but i can't stand from knowing some of them may light up my world :) some of them left but some of them will stay. and even many time they break me, i never give up, never regret, because i have so many awesome friends right now

I always wonder how it feels about losing you? I never really losing you, did I? Now you have another life Every story that you tell me maybe hurt me, Not much, not a little. But enough for me to drop one or two tears. People said you never know what you have until you lose it, and yes it's true. I may lose you, even not now, I know I will Easy for me to laugh, to smile in front of you or in front of everyone. Now I just feel I'm about to losing you Maybe losing isn't the right word since I didn't own you But that's the word if you say i'll never have a chance to be like we were anymore. You smile, I smile You cry, I cry I just want something the best for you. Cliche isn't it? Yes I want your best is me, but it wont, will it? So.. Now be happy, happy with your choices. Because I know that's not me who will make you happy. But I will do anything as I can to make you at least.....not sad :) Congratulation, And I'm happy for you.