another freaky day

denger denger gayus udah keluar, dan ternyata............ dia afgan! haha tau gitu gue kawinin deh dari dulu, udah ganteng kaya pula, haha anyway gue dapet gambar sedih, lupa dari siapa.. tapi sedih deeeeh :( R, XX

it's about the boy i can't live without. i mean i do my life, but i don't feel alive. I know he enjoyed seeing me miss him, I knew he was pleased to see me suffer, I knew he was happy to see me sad thinking about it. I know, I just can not deny, I can not be naive. all may be just memories, an illusion that we make. but no one moment of all was that I could forget. indeed, his smile, laugh, joke, every time that we spent together buried here, in this heart. maybe people think I'm excessive. maybe people think I'm stupid, think of someone who was not even thinking about me. I know I initially decided all this, I can not go back, see no way or chance of him. you never showed once you lose me, or miss me, never even once. I'm not strong, I'm not strong enough to live without you, at least at this time. maybe this time I was very sad, I look very miserable, maybe I did. maybe for now let me confess I love you, I was too dear. perhaps only time can heal it all. I...

tetep galau, itu yang gue rasain.. beberapa hari ini gue merasa kurang baik, ga tau kenapa, ga baik sama orang, ga baik sama tuhan, ga baik sama keluarga, dan ga baik sama diri gue sendiri . seriously, jadi suka nyiksa diri sendiri. haah hemm, gimana kalo gue update nilai gue? fisika E kimia BC fisika BC lihat.. lihat saudara2 gimana gue harus mengejar nilai di uts 2 dan uas hiks.. anyway, my heart works hard lately. i know have to move on because i don't see any chance or wants from you to get back. i think i'm working on my first step on moving on, ACCEPT. gue udah berusaha buat nerima ini semua, lo udah ga sayang gue and whatever. dan gue ga mau maksain diri buat ga sayang atau benci sama lo, biarkan waktu aja yang mengubah itu semua. meskipun gue tau itu akan berlangsung sangat lama mengingat betapa sayangnya gue :') somehow i know you'll get the one first like you did last time, but my question 'would she stay like i did? would she love you more than i do?'...